


I never meant to make you bleed

by myhomeistheshire



Series: if I could make amends (X-Company Leverage AU) [8]
Category: X Company (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Leverage Fusion, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4004203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhomeistheshire/pseuds/myhomeistheshire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short explanation of Tom and Neil's relationship (and how it ended, all that time ago).</p>
            </blockquote>





	I never meant to make you bleed

_“So.” Neil says, furiously calm. “This is it.”_

_“I guess so.”_

_It takes a second for it to hit; the wave of pain that rushes through Tom’s body like a wave._

_“Tom?” Neil’s voice filters through, and finally,_ finally, _there’s some goddamn emotion in it._

_“I’m not going to say goodbye.” Tom straightens up defiantly, desperately. “I’m not going to, I can’t -”_

_“It’s not a bloody debate, Cummings.” The other man mutters, but when he looks up at Tom there’s a world of unsaid words in his eyes._

_“I’m not going to lose you.” Tom’s voice cracks. “I_ can’t _lose you. You’re the only one - you’re - you’re -”_

 

_Neil kisses him to stop the stuttering._

_“We’ll find each other, after this.” He promises fiercely. “You hear me, Tom? This isn’t forever. We still have that.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

He doesn’t talk about it until the third dinner with the team, until he and Neil run into each other in the hallway and something causes him to reach out and grab the other man’s shoulder.

“What do you want?” Neil asks, all biting and sharp and cold in a way Tom doesn’t recognize.

“I just wanted to - to explain.” He swallows. His throat is closing up, his heart is thumping in his chest; he has to say this, he _has to._

Neil is looking at him with a veiled expression and tensed shoulders.

“Marcie is - Marcie was there for me,” he blurts out. “After - everything. She was there to pick up the pieces. She’s always been kind, and understanding, and - she’s everything I need. When I’m with her, I’m the person I need to be.”

Neil doesn’t move, doesn’t flinch - but there’s something that flashes across his features that hits Tom like a punch to the gut. And he’s so close, inches away; he could just lean forward and -

“Do you love her?”

“Sorry?” Tom blinks, his head spinning in a hectic spiral, struggling to right itself.

“Marcie.” If it were anyone else, they would have spit out the name like a curse, but it’s Neil. So he says it like a fact; a number; a line from a mathematics book. “Do you love her?”

Tom is still struggling to keep his eyes from dropping to Neil’s lips ( _don’t think about how close you are, how you can feel his body heat, how you haven’t touched him since you said goodbye all those years ago_ ), and he bites his tongue to keep himself focused. _No,_ his mind says.

 

“Yes.” Is what comes out.


End file.
